It's like "Overheard in New York."
Only smaller. Really, really smaller.
An overserved patron inside Charlie-O's:"I am a breast woman!"
Typical downtown Montpelier high school pierced punks, hanging out on the wall in front of the M&M Beverage.Guy: I'm thinking about getting my dick pierced.Girl: But if you pierce your penis we can't have sex for...like...a week!
Two young pierced guys coming out of Rite Aid, and the one gleefully clutching his prescription says, "I LOVE my klonopin!"
Two young teen boys talking with a "mom" type. One boy says to the other, "I don't beat women! So I don't know!"
Two guys just out of GMFF fare at the Savoy. They pause in front of the window of Somers, and looking at the display, one says to the other indignantly:"Beanie Babies!? They're not losing their edge, are they?!"(I would say the answer is no...seeing as Somers never has had an edge to lose.)
Woman chatting with one of the meter maids in front of Shaw's.Woman: Do you watch Project Runway?Meter Maid: No.Woman: Oh! How can you NOT??(I answered in my head for the meter maid, "Maybe because I have to wear the SAME forest green fleece and khaki pants EVERY F-ING DAY!!!")
Two itinerant young guys sitting on the cement blocks in the guerrilla garden, watching passersby at noon. A woman wearing aviator sunglasses walks by, and one of the young guys sing-songs out, "Got any weeeeeed?"The woman keeps walking but looks back at them, smiles, & says, "No, I don't smoke."To which the young guy responds, "Aw, come on, lady! The shades don't lie!"
In front of Kellogg-Hubbard Library, four or five eight or nine year olds playing keep away with a football. One of the girls says, "No! No! No, you have to use reverse psychology!"
A dad is leading his two small daughters by the hand south down Main St. past the Hazen Pl. alley.Little Girl: (whining) Aww...I wanna take the shortcut...Dad: (rhetorically) The SHORTCUT?? With all that ICE?? Where you'll SLIP AND FALL??File under C, for control. Sub-category P, for parental. Sub-category F, for fear.
Inside Three Penny Taproom, three well groomed young guys, legislative types (or their associated ilk), and one says to the other two:"The Times Argus doesn't even HAVE a Facebook page!?"
Three cigarette-smoking twenty-somethings: 1 guy & 2 girls. And the guy is saying aloud (as much to himself as to the girls):"So, if it was two sideways lines, and two sideways lines means negative, then..."(If you don't get what they were talking about, consider that this conversation, appropriately enough, was taking place right in front of the Montpelier Pharmacy.)
When asked what she likes to read, a 14-year-old girl at the Savoy waiting for the movie to start replies:"Pretty much any thing I can get my hands on...that doesn't insult my intelligence."Note to publishers of Y/A lit: BEWARE!
Inside Charlie-O's, where the music was too loud to have an actual conversation. Young woman to tall distinguished but weathered-looking older gentleman with a big gray beard...Her: Are you a sailor?Him: What?Her: DO. YOU. SAIL.
- Where do you want to eat, Positive Pi?- Well, we could go to Bagitos!- Yeah...Dave doesn't know what that is.
Guy: Are you SURE you don't want a Bagito?Girl: Yeah. I'm sure.
Two young women at the corner of the bar in Three Penny, and one says to the other, "I taught myself to run."In their defense, these girls had been at Three Penny for A LONG TIME. And I mean: A LONG TIME.
Dad asks his grade-school-aged daughter in which direction his fanny pack looks cooler, with the pouch in front or in back?She replies, "It doesn't look cool either way."(Mom gives her a high five.)
At Three Penny, a guy tells two women: "The first time I had sex, I didn't have a condom. So I used a balloon."
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